Most of us spend the majority of our waking hours with our coworkers: some become close friends, others become forgettable memories, and still others are living, breathing lessons in patience and self-restraint. While we’ve already shared with you our top ten annoying coworker habits, as Bustle originally reported, there are plenty more from which to choose. Just ask the users over at Reddit, who contributed their stories of the worst coworkers with which they’ve had the displeasure of sharing a cubicle wall to a funny (and oddly fascinating) thread: That annoying coworker — What does he/she keep doing?
The worst coworkers do more than just fall asleep at their desks. From Simon Law.
Below, a few of our favorite cringe-inducing coworker profiles:
- The Would-Be Rapper: “Finishes words while you’re talking like a rapper’s hype-man: ‘So, last night I went to the grocery store (store). When I was in the line to check out (out), the guy in front of me was paying with a check (check). It took this guy 10 minutes to write it out (out).”
- The Know-It-All: “He has an amazing quality. He will come to me for help, and ask me a question. Whilst answering the question he will mirror what I’m saying. By the end of the conversation he will repeat the solution back to me and ask me: ‘Right, have you got that now?’”
- The Knows-No-Boundaries Cubemate: “Playing Texas Hold ‘Em online instead of, you know, doing his job. Also, he hit on my mom and three of my other relatives at my wedding last year.”
- The Joker: “He yells ‘SUPPLIES!’ and then jumps out of the supplies closet.” (Ok, we admit it: This one is actually funny on the first go-round, but we can imagine that it gets old.)
- The Common Room Troll: “A guy at my office sits in the communal dining area and says ‘There he/she is! Hahaha!’ to literally everyone who walks in. If you try to ignore him by looking at your phone he says ‘Communicating with the aliens again are we? Hahaha!’
- Redundant: “He says ‘currently right now.’ Never just ‘currently’ or ‘right now’ or even ‘at this time,’ but ‘currently right now’.” Imagine deciphering an email from this guy?
- The Countdown Keeper: Seems like every office has got at least one of these characters who chirp out a “Halfway there! It’s humpday!”, “Another day, another dollar!”, or “Working hard, or hardly working?”
- The Musical Torturer: We imagine this habit is adapted from one of the CIA’s tactics: “Used to have a colleague that would listen to one song on loop the whole day every day. The song changed once in a while. For a week it was Jason Mraz.”
- The Tree Killer: “Prints. Every. [Expletive]. Thing. All day long. From the moment he gets here until the moment he leaves. Receives an email? Print it. Sends an email? Prints it. Googles something? PRINTS THE RESULTS PAGE.”
- The Slurper: “Sips (slurps) coffee and goes ‘Ahhhhh’ loudly. Every. Freakin. Time. Forgot to mention, the travel mug he drinks from has some sort of pressure valve that squeals every time he takes a drink.”